Are We Playing GAMES In SA!

Writes Trevor:

I having this slow blinding flash of some realisation that we in South Africa are currently embroiled in communications styles that Eric Berne first wrote about in Games People Play - 1964.

Pauls Tips provides a neat summary of Berne's thoughts:

Berne thinks people's personalities are divided into three distinct egos - child, adult and parent. These are a simple as they sound:

The child is representative of our personalities when we were children - needy, emotional, charming, creative and so on.

The adult is our rational and objective side.

The parent represents our parents (or their substitutes) and the behaviors and attitudes we felt they had towards us when we were children.

It is the interaction of these parts of our personality with the equivalent child, adult and parent in others that make up our relationships. Often, when we are interacting with others, there can be two conversations going on at the same time - our adult can give the impression of talking to their adult, when in fact it's our parent who's talking to their child.

Many times I find that what people are saying is now what they mean... and often that what I am saying is not what they hear - they hear what they WANT to hear!

I'm sure that Louise is going to say that my communication is therefore not clear and specific... so I should have an interesting learning curve here.

Found this site dedicated to Key Ideas of Transactional Analysis which discusses communication techniques advocated by Berne.

Are we talking across each other in SA? And... do we do it deliberately? Or... do we misinterpret what others are communicating. If so why?

Regards
Trevor Nel - 011 - 705-2790 - www.innercircleforum.com